What Are You Worth?
by Nyan Nyan Soup
Summary: "You are only worth as much as you believe you are." Tsurugi is called into the Vice President's office. He's sure he knows what it's about, but he desperately hopes he is wrong. Contains Dubious/No Consent


"You called Tai-chan?" Tsurugi asked, stepping into Touma's office.

Just a few minutes ago Shuhei had told Tsurugi that the vice president ordered Tsurugi to his office, and of course Tsurugi had to come running. Touma was standing in front of his desk. His hand was over his tie as he loosened it.

"I expected you sooner." Touma stated.

Tsurugi put his hands behind his back and glanced off to the side of the room. A nervous smile took the place of his usual grin. "I hurried as much as I could, but I was on the other side of the building. I can only get here so soon."

The way Touma didn't even bother to look at him concerned Tsurugi. He knew he must have upset Touma, even if it was reasonable that he arrived when he did. Touma was simply always very critical of everything Tsurugi did. Tsurugi grew more nervous the more the seconds passed by without a word from Touma.

"Is there a reason you called me here Tai-chan?" Tsurugi asked, trying to break the ice.

Touma turned to finally look at Tsurugi with a cold dead stare. "Get on the desk."

Tsurugi was afraid of that. The whole walk there he was desperately hoping that wouldn't be the reason he was called for. Tsurugi wanted to stand there longer, to have at least one more second that he didn't have to get on the desk, but Touma's glare drilled holes in him that he couldn't avoid. Tsurugi gave up on the inside and proceeded to make his way to Touma's desk. It was only a few quick steps, but to Tsurugi it felt like hundreds and each one felt just as familiar as the last.

This was just something Tsurugi was used to by now. Come into the office, get on the desk, let the usual happen, then immediately go to his room and wrap himself up in his blanket. That's just how it always went, even if every time it made Tsurugi feel worse about himself.

Tsurugi hopped onto the desk and looked up at Touma. Even though the desk let Tsurugi be up a few inches than he was when just standing normally, Touma was still taller and still loomed over Tsurugi. Touma stood in front of Tsurugi and placed his hands on either side of the younger male.

"...Tai-chan." Tsurugi whispered before Touma leaned in and kissed him.

There was no feeling behind it. It's not like Tsurugi knew what a real kiss was supposed to be like, but when it was Touma, he knew there just wasn't something right about it. There wasn't even any feeling of lust or pleasure. It was more like… a formality.

Touma pulled away and proceeded to undo the strap on Tsurugi's uniform coat, letting it fall onto the desk. He traced his tongue across Tsurugi's collarbone, causing Tsurugi to whimper. He felt one of Touma's hands slide up under his shirt. The contact felt cold and made Tsurugi shudder.

"T-Tai-chaaan~" Tsurugi moaned.

Touma bit down on Tsurugi's neck and sucked on the spot until he made a hickey. The younger male let out another moan and wrapped his arms around Touma's neck, pressing his hands into the elder's hair. Out of nowhere Touma pushed Tsurugi down onto the desk.

"Nngh-aah!" Tsurugi knew that was coming soon, but it still caught him off guard.

Touma did always like being rough. Never caring about how Tsurugi feels, but rather only that he gets what he wants out of their little 'meetings'. The only thing worse than the pain from being slammed against the desk was that he knew what was to come after was much worse. Touma reached for the top of Tsurugi's pants, ready to undo the zipper. Tsurugi's eyes widened.

"T-T-Tai-chaaan…" Tsurugi whimpered, his voice wavering quite a bit.

"If you can't even do the only thing you're good for you might as well be useless. Remember that." Touma told the other in a harsh and cold tone.

Tsurugi paused and nodded. Touma was right, Tsurugi had to be useful to him or else he wouldn't mean anything. He'd be nothing. All he was good at was killing and… this. There was no point in keeping someone around if they didn't do the only thing they were supposed to. That especially applied to Tsurugi.

Touma continued to remove Tsurugi's pants, getting them all the way off and onto the floor. Despite that being the only thing removed so far, he still felt so bare. The feeling only worsened when Touma rubbed a hand up and down Tsurugi's thigh. Physically Tsurugi couldn't help but acknowledge it felt nice, emotionally he dreaded every single moment Touma's hand lingered.

Touma removed his hand and Tsurugi felt better for a split second, until he felt the hem of his underwear pull up. Touma slid them off without any care. Tsurugi's face turned bright red and he looked away to stare at the blank wall.

"Hmph. Did I keep you waiting?" Touma asked, clearly sarcastically.

Tsurugi suddenly realized he was half hard. He heard the sound of Touma unzipping his own pants. The grip of Touma's hand on his thigh as the elder man positioned himself. The familiar disgusting feeling of Touma pressed against his entrance. The pain and reality that this, once again, really was happening.

"Nngh, Tai-chan… Nnnh…" Tsurugi groaned out.

Touma was still for a moment. Tsurugi took all the time he could to mentally prepare himself, since Touma gave him no physical preparation. Without warning Touma began thrusting, Tsurugi in turn threw his hands over his mouth and jerked his head back. He really had no care for Tsurugi's well-being.

"...T-Taaaai-chaa~aan!" The younger male moaned. There was a hint of pain in Tsurugi's voice making it sound closer to whining than moaning.

Every few thrusts Touma would get faster and more reckless with Tsurugi's body. His fingers dug deeply into Tsurugi's thighs and they both knew there'd be long lasting bruises left over. Tsurugi was an item to him. Nothing but something for him to use for his own pleasure. In Touma's mind, Tsurugi's enjoyment meant absolutely nothing and to Tsurugi, that might as well have been the truth.

"Hah… Hah… Tai… chan…" Tsurugi panted, having fully given in by now, just like every time before.

Tsurugi stared up at the ceiling, a lifeless yet somewhat pained expression on his face. As Touma became faster and rougher tears started peaking through and streaming down Tsurugi's face. He let out a few choked sobs in between moans and pants. Tsurugi momentarily thought he'd be used to the pain by now, after so many times, but each and every time it was just the same pain over and over again.

Another few days spent being sore. Another several different excuses to Jun and Yumi as to why he's been off his game during missions. Another night spent crying in his bed. Another day he got to be useful to Touma, but worthless to himself. Not like his own self worth mattered in the first place.

One particular thrust made Tsurugi yelp and squeeze his eyes shut. Touma only seemed to gain pride from the reaction Tsurugi elicited. He repeated the same thrust again and again, each time Tsurugi's cries grew louder. He continued to cry and tried to stop himself by keeping his mouth closed, but it only made him cough.

Touma pulled Tsurugi closer by his legs and thrust as far in the younger man as he could, finally cumming. Tsurugi arched his back and clenched onto his uniform coat lying underneath him. Touma took a second to catch his breath and fix his hair, then pulled out of Tsurugi.

The fact that Tsurugi himself hadn't cum yet was the usual for them. Tsurugi almost never found these times to be pleasurable in the first place, so the times where he has are very rare.

Tsurugi sat up slightly, but his body felt too stiff and sore to really hold up any weight. He just wanted to get pants back on and go to his room. He turned on his side for a moment and used his coat as a sort of makeshift pillow.

Touma glanced down at him. "What do you think you're doing? Get on the floor. On your knees." He demanded.

Tsurugi whimpered at the realization that he wasn't done. He mustered up enough strength to get himself off the desk and on his feet, then to drop to his knees like he'd been ordered. He kept his gaze down at the floor. Tsurugi felt a weight on his head and looked up to see that Touma had placed a hand on Tsurugi's head. He knew right away where this was headed.

"Take it. All of it." Touma ordered, pulling Tsurugi's head up and closer to his crotch.

Tsurugi stared at it, wide eyed. His situation was made worse with the fact that he could feel what was already released inside of him spilling out. It made him sick. Tsurugi sat up and ignored his current problem best he could.

He placed his hands around Touma's member and stuck his tongue out to clean up what was left from when he came. The taste was something Tsurugi would never get used to. He placed the tip in his mouth and swirled his tongue around it. Touma's hand rubbed his head slightly and Tsurugi took it as a sign he was doing good. It actually made him want to keep going. The praise, no matter how minimal, sometimes felt like the only thing Tsurugi lived for.

Tsurugi traced his tongue along from the base to the tip and lingered at the slit. He went down on it halfway, but Touma's hand forced him further down which almost made him gag. Touma was bigger than average and no matter used to the size Tsurugi was, it was still a lot for him to take in his mouth. Tsurugi adjusted to breathing through his nose and continued to blow Touma.

He noticed Touma had started to thrust his hips every couple times Tsurugi came down on him. His hand was forcing Tsurugi to stay down through all of it. Touma put his other hand on the opposite side of Tsurugi's head and forced him further down every time he would thrust. He finally forced Tsurugi all the way down on him to the base and he came again, this time down Tsurugi's throat. The younger man yanked back and coughed over and over, panting when it finally stopped.

"Swallow it." Touma demanded.

Tsurugi nodded and swallowed everything that hadn't already gone down his throat. He continued to cough from the disgusting taste. The reason was lost to Tsurugi, but he began to cry again, albeit this time quietly. Touma proceeded to clean himself up and fix his clothes back to the way they were before.

"You can go now." Touma stated.

Tsurugi looked up, confused. "H-huh?"

It wasn't normal for Touma to make Tsurugi leave without also making him clean everything up first. Was he having mercy on Tsurugi? Was it the pathetic sight of him crying?

"Hurry up before I change my mind." Touma grabbed at lock of Tsurugi's hair and pushed him slightly to drive home his orders.

Tsurugi whined and stood, despite his legs shaking. He put his underwear on as quickly as his sore body would let him. He didn't want to bother with the pants anymore and simply wrapped his coat around himself. He rushed toward the door and left without looking back, but shut the door quietly. Tsurugi kept his head down and made it all the way back to his room without anyone spotting him. He practically threw himself on his bed and curled up into a ball where he just let it all out.

What even was he to Touma? Was he anything to anyone? Did he even see himself as something? His worth was defined by Touma. If he didn't kill, if he didn't keep up his 'favors', he was nothing. He was worthless. If he was worth something to Touma, then why did he feel like he was worthless to himself?

 _Why is Tsurugi worthless no matter what action he takes?_


End file.
